Patience gives you flexibility and strength

By Dekyi-Lee Oldershaw 

Patience, the second of the 16 Guidelines For Life, gives you the flexibility and strength not to be a victim of circumstance.

It helps you respond to life skillfully because you can think more clearly.

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“When you are patient with others, they open up and share their life and stories” says nurse Vanessa Novello from Grimsby.

When you have cultivated patience, others around you feel safe, valued and supported. You can share and enjoy each other’s company without fear of being abused or attacked. This is an essential foundation for happiness.

“If a situation upsets you and you can change it, then do so. If you can’t change it, then stop worrying about it.” advises the Dalai Lama

Lance Logan-Keyes, a support worker with a Toronto native men’s anti-violence program called I Am A Kind Man, says: “I grew up very fear-based. I had to … understand my fear and work with it. So when I help someone with aggressive behaviour, I have to remember to stay at their pace, understanding that it is their story and journey.”

Try this: Is there anyone who really irritates you? Instead of reacting, take five minutes out in a quiet spot and identify exactly what gets on your nerves. Is there a quality in that person that you have a hard time accepting within yourself? When in the past have you felt the same? Can you use this insight to bring more understanding into the situation?

Challenge: We invite you to nominate someone in your daily life who exemplifies and practises patience. See thespec.com for details.

You can order the book, 16 Guidelines for Life, a practical and simple tool for making life better and find courses on these guidelines at The Centre for Compassion and Wisdom.